Passion of Words

There are many people who will judge me on these next words, but they will soon exist. Whether they like it or not.
I am surrounded by young people, striving and hunting for love. Someone to take care of them, someone to cuddle, someone to share the special little moments. My heart has fallen for the same trap; wishing for someone to come so strongly, that I cannot see. Now that there is no one to look for I realize my hearts true desire. What I miss, truly and sincerely miss, is to honestly tell someone with all of my heart the simple three words; I love you. A voice, merely a whisper. Air, streaming from the deeps of my lounges, eyes finding eyes, looking from the heart of my soul. The openness, the hope, the fear and the thrill. I want it.

For someone to understand this profound longing there is a need to listen. Pay attention to the story of common love.

Heart bursting out as a shadow leans over the building. Frozen damp clings to the thin window, forming glorious shapes. Circles twirling around each other, playing games, teasing, fooling. Nowhere to go, they change to rivers. Every inch of the glass was decorated by the moving atoms. Through the storm of ice he could see her, crossing the street with small jumps as if the cars might pop up any second. As she moves closer, her eyes swirl around, gazing upon the people. On the way to the door their eyes meet. A little tilt with her head and her smile is almost diagonal. To this day it amuses him how she manages to dazzle him with those little wonders. The body in the cold walks towards the frozen glass, eyes fixed on him. There could have been a million people passing her in the meantime, he wouldn’t know. They were the only people on Earth, separated by a thin window. Their breaths didn’t combine. Their hands didn’t touch, their lips didn’t speak for themselves. There was no need for those simple gestures. He found a grin on his face while he melted the words “Come” on the glass. A teasing look, top to bottom and up again, made his hair rise. She knew how to get a man around her slim finger.
Three long minutes passed. His hand was a part of the glass by now, covering the encouraging letters. She came up from behind, cold hands appeared under his shirt.  Caught by surprise as always he lost the grip of the window and placed the frozen hand on the shivering, beautiful face. They were filled with her cheek as the impossibly gorgeous smile spread. The other found its way around her waist and harbored on her back, pressing her into his chest. Her hands had long her fingers into his hair, and forced his lips to hers. Warmth spread from inside them, from every living cell registering their connection. The bodies moved, synchronized, together. As he dropped her on the couch their lips were ripped apart, redeeming their longing. In deep desperation for more he dived after her pressing his lips next to her air. His panting blew warm, soft air as he murmured the sacred words. A slight moan escaped her mouth as she lifted closer to him,  limiting the distance between their flesh. Quickly she turned around, leaving him on the bottom. Eagerly she swooped  down, pretending to go for a passionate kiss. As his lips opened to welcome her she stopped, looking up at him, smiled and repeated the same three words. I love you.




She lies on the floor with the kitchen knife in the back. The radio pours out Rehab by Rihanna, a rather unusual song for that channel to broadcast. When she had turned it on I was expecting soothing tones from a calm melody. I had never really liked pop-music.
I had managed to spill on the expensive carpet she had bought. Obsessively she had managed to not get any stains on it. Oh well, too bad it had to be ruined in this situation. I might have kept it. Though, it’s not me to blame. We were going to get married. She and I. We were meant for each other, a perfect item, but she wanted to test fate. Thought she had met someone better, someone perfect. Bullshit! I was the only one for her. The only one that could ever love her this deeply, cherish her as she was rare. Only I. He stole her from me, that bastard. Blindly she would have followed her, into his neat little web. It was a trap, why wouldn’t she see? She was into it, that little whore. Wanted to be fooled, taken away from this paradise and into the devil’s layer. Away from me. One does not simply walk away from me. It took her a while until she understood, but by the time I saw it in her eyes they turned to glass. The time was up. Contrary to that bitch, I had learned.

I look at her. The blue-green eyes had turned pale a while ago. The hands were still reaching for me, or where I used to be. The knife had long ago found its place. Forced through her back and into the unfaithful heart. The skin on her chin had turned to sandpaper. Something cold ran down my spine, the goose bumps spread like a deadly sickness. Next to her ear was an insignificant tear, striving to reach her valuable carpet. I swiped my finger over it, stood up and walk over her body, across the floor and open the door. My back turns against the hall and I take a last look into the small living room. The memories flow back and my eyes start to burn. Facing the other way I walk away, humming the tones of Rehab by Rihanna.


Walking around completely naked, making her body visible for anyone to see, she hides. Not in the physical world, but in the mind. Her head and heart is locked away from everyone. Tome has made her forget what is was like to feel, to think of others, and act spontaneously. She could no longer reach her hidden treasure that now had become some unfamiliar to her. Instead of accepting the defeat she neglected them. Considering them worthless and unnecessary. “After all,” she thought, “the world only cares about a sexy body and a pretty face.”

Photo: Matthew Rolston
Photo: Matthew Rolston